in my mundane

I like the lyrics that lazily swing back and forth with the melody at the end of Over The Rhine's song "Jesus in New Orleans" (album: Ohio)

Ain't it crazy
What's revealed when you're not looking all that close
Ain't it crazy
How we put to death the ones we need the most

I know I'm not a martyr
I've never died for anyone but me
The last frontier is only
The stranger in the mirror that I see

But when I least expect it
Here and there I see my savior's face
He's still my favorite loser
Falling for the entire human race

Besides just the "mountain-top" moments, God's been hanging out with me in my mundane a lot lately. It's unbelievable how He pops out in simple joys throughout the day. It's unfathomable how He'd know my heart and still want to.

Magnolia

Yeah, I'm about 10 years behind, but I finally watched Magnolia last night for the first time.















It captivated me.
the characters
the pain
the human-ness
The reality.

I sat, intensely mesmerized through the experience of the film. And even at parts when I stopped "crying" I could feel the tears continue to roll down the paths they dug out on my cheeks.

It was a long time, maybe half and hour or so, before I felt like I was ready to talk -- to speak words and thoughts back out of the silver screen. As films go, that's a good sign.

I dialogued in my head with my friends as they sat discussing the movie well after the credits rolled all the way up. But I couldn't bring myself to talk, yet. I needed space

space to just be quiet,
to absorb,
to process

to let it overwhelm me
-- and let it just be Art
before I started pulling at meanings and themes.

Again, good sign.

I seem to like film experiences like these. These films that are "depressing"; these films that show broken people as what they are -- broken. That show brokeness in a very relational manner. That surround hurting people with glimpses of grace and redemption, but not forced, never simple ... rarely taken.

Snapshots of human-ness.
Fear. Shame. Lonliness.
Potential.
not wrapped up in 2 hours' space.

just a glimpse
a glimpse at weakness,
of the depth and intensity of seperation from God.

all attached so intimately to experiences in your own life, all too raw.

Such Beauty.
Hope -- to find it, recognize it's power, to own it -- is one of the most beautiful experiences.

Hope of being redeemed
Hope of being loved
Hope of being able to love


Now that I've processed how I felt about the film, I'm ready to start processing what I think about it. I would love to hear people's thoughts, critiques and questions about the flim, which I realize is a huge topic to kinda throw out there, but throw a comment up, or grab me next time you see me...