Analogies are like … Waffle Fries

Every year, English teachers can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays in order to have them published and sent out for the amusement of other teachers across the country. I got an email today through work that shared some good ones. Here are my favorites:

1. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

2. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

3. He spoke with the kind of wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who goes blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now he goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

5. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

6. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

7. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

8. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

9. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

10. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

*special "waffle-fry-shout-out" to BC, MW, JW and CR ... yeah, feel loved :)